My friends in college had a running joke that I was an independent black woman stuck in a mans body. My male friends and roommates often joked that they were honestly surprised hat I wasn't gay, and that I was the best friend to have because I understood women so well. My female friends had a joke that i was going to make someone an awesome wife one day. These jokes stemmed from the fact that my dorm or apartment was immaculately clean, I made my bed everyday, used to cook dinner for everybody twice a week, and I could sew and dress. I was and still am extremely independent and don't really need or rely on many people for much except conversation, companionship, etc.
I don't really think that I understand women so much I just pay attention more than most men. But I’ve always been around women more and have more women in my life that I don't date than any other straight man I know. For instance, I was raised in a single parent home where its was just me and my mom, my grandma basically raised me at least half way because I spent just as much time with her as my mom, because moms worked at night, so I came home from school to my grandma and spent countless hours with my grandma, then theres my aunt, who I can honestly say loves me just as much, if not just a lil more than her own child. My aunt calls me her big baby, hey I've been her baby for 29 years and her son is only 17, IJS. And then theres the apple of my eye my little sister who I’ve had the pleasure of watching grow up from a baby into a beautiful young lady.
Besides that most of my friends are women, 3 of my best friends are women. The reason, most women are goal oriented, strong and about something. Plus I like being around beautiful women and I'm a connoisseur of them, cant fault a man for that. I have male friends but not many, Im very particular about the men I hang around, they all are good men, loyal and about something. Being around this many women I pick up on a lot of things, I listen to and learn a lot of things. These skills have made me some what of a hit with women, in college I was a ladies man on the low, given more credit than for anything I really did, just because people saw me hang out with lots of girls and talk to lots of girls, on top of that I'm very secretive and elusive, especially with questions regarding my personal life.
Any way, a few years ago books and movies with men giving women relationship advice about how to deal with became all the rage. That rush also opened up a small market for me to do what it is that I have been doing for my home girls and cousins for years. So even to this day I quite often am the first line for advice about men and relationships. I've even been invited to like Girls Nights out and then women would ask me questions and advice. Yes Fellas Im your worst night mare if you plan to cut up in a relationship because I decode your actions and cut through all the bull for my girls, but I also help them understand what you really mean so that they don't misunderstand your actions and know when its their faults. The same thing every man america does for his female friends, cousins and sisters, so please miss me with the hater, messing up the game crap and the cock blocking accusations. Be honest no matter how bold or brutal it is and I wont have to call you out. I even have a workshop about this stuff, for women, called How Am I Still Single.
So a couple of weeks ago one of my friends, who happens to be a very pretty girl in her own right asked Why are Pretty Girls single, I assume she was talking about her circle of friends, but I had no problem answering it for her and it gave her something to think about. The question really should be why are good women single, besides the obvious elephant in the room that many ignore of the disproportion of women to men on earth. Many women are single unnecessarily because of their own actions and choices that eliminate men from wanting to or being able to be in a relationship with them.
Let’s do easy stuff first because its a few things that cause women to be single, some women are because they intimidate guys, and they refuse to ask or initiate with the men they like. Im not talking about spit game at men, but break the ice so he feels comfortable to talk to you. Face it ladies we live in a society where many men are afraid to approach women because they are afraid of the attitude they may get, because women are so used to every man trying to holla at them. So men that do like them are hesitant. Now you can be old fashioned if you want but you may get left behind or miss out on the right man because another woman approached him. So some let their opportunities go by not going after what they want.
You also got standards, I’m sure of it, so that eliminates just being with anybody to not be single. But for most people they problem is their choices, especially pretty women. The types of man that most women say they want, and the type of men that they are attracted to, are two totally different people. And most women, pretty women in particular, are not prepared to date a man below her attractive standards, especially if she’s using herself as the standard. Most want a man that’s equally as good looking as her or above it. And women in general put a lot of emphasis on physical stuff, height, weight, etc, and tend to put those first and if you don’t jump those hurdles as a man, you out. A lot of women have so many filters for men that they turn a dating pool into a dating puddle, because they done filtered out so many men, that they have even filtered out good ones. This is usually what men mean but can’t explain when they say women are too picky, because they will be there with all the characteristics a woman wants, compatibility, gentleman, respectful, promising, but she won’t date him because he’s too short, don’t have a certain kind of job, he not as attractive as she wants him to be , etc.
As you get older and wiser characteristics and personality should become more attractive than everything else especially if you want to get married. I always laugh at women that say what they wont accept in a man and wont do for a man, and I usually think marry one either as one of my friends said. If you want a man to accept you as you are , you have to be willing to do the same. Women hate when men wont date them based on their shade of skin, hair type body type, etc. or based on their faults. Well you cant expect to be loved for who you are if you wont do the same, want people to love your insides if you wont do the same. Pick choose and refuse men, want them to be your perfect vision and you come to them under construction. Its doesn't work like that. And you can use all the code words and phrases you want, you may have a preference but requirements for dating some one exceed preferences. Preferences are like options on a car, good to have and the more you can get the better but they are not whats most important. And sometimes the right combo can make it all worth it.
Final Thought if you even remotely religious think of it like this, what if the man you want isn’t who GOD has intended for you, what are you gong to do just completely reject the blessing he has for you because its not the way you want him to bless you, its not your vision. My aunt used to say if you want to make GOD laugh, tell him your plans. Blessings are not orders at burger King, you don't always get it your way, don't always get what you want, but sometime what you need. I’m just saying. Thats my perspective.
I don't really think that I understand women so much I just pay attention more than most men. But I’ve always been around women more and have more women in my life that I don't date than any other straight man I know. For instance, I was raised in a single parent home where its was just me and my mom, my grandma basically raised me at least half way because I spent just as much time with her as my mom, because moms worked at night, so I came home from school to my grandma and spent countless hours with my grandma, then theres my aunt, who I can honestly say loves me just as much, if not just a lil more than her own child. My aunt calls me her big baby, hey I've been her baby for 29 years and her son is only 17, IJS. And then theres the apple of my eye my little sister who I’ve had the pleasure of watching grow up from a baby into a beautiful young lady.
Besides that most of my friends are women, 3 of my best friends are women. The reason, most women are goal oriented, strong and about something. Plus I like being around beautiful women and I'm a connoisseur of them, cant fault a man for that. I have male friends but not many, Im very particular about the men I hang around, they all are good men, loyal and about something. Being around this many women I pick up on a lot of things, I listen to and learn a lot of things. These skills have made me some what of a hit with women, in college I was a ladies man on the low, given more credit than for anything I really did, just because people saw me hang out with lots of girls and talk to lots of girls, on top of that I'm very secretive and elusive, especially with questions regarding my personal life.
Any way, a few years ago books and movies with men giving women relationship advice about how to deal with became all the rage. That rush also opened up a small market for me to do what it is that I have been doing for my home girls and cousins for years. So even to this day I quite often am the first line for advice about men and relationships. I've even been invited to like Girls Nights out and then women would ask me questions and advice. Yes Fellas Im your worst night mare if you plan to cut up in a relationship because I decode your actions and cut through all the bull for my girls, but I also help them understand what you really mean so that they don't misunderstand your actions and know when its their faults. The same thing every man america does for his female friends, cousins and sisters, so please miss me with the hater, messing up the game crap and the cock blocking accusations. Be honest no matter how bold or brutal it is and I wont have to call you out. I even have a workshop about this stuff, for women, called How Am I Still Single.
So a couple of weeks ago one of my friends, who happens to be a very pretty girl in her own right asked Why are Pretty Girls single, I assume she was talking about her circle of friends, but I had no problem answering it for her and it gave her something to think about. The question really should be why are good women single, besides the obvious elephant in the room that many ignore of the disproportion of women to men on earth. Many women are single unnecessarily because of their own actions and choices that eliminate men from wanting to or being able to be in a relationship with them.
Let’s do easy stuff first because its a few things that cause women to be single, some women are because they intimidate guys, and they refuse to ask or initiate with the men they like. Im not talking about spit game at men, but break the ice so he feels comfortable to talk to you. Face it ladies we live in a society where many men are afraid to approach women because they are afraid of the attitude they may get, because women are so used to every man trying to holla at them. So men that do like them are hesitant. Now you can be old fashioned if you want but you may get left behind or miss out on the right man because another woman approached him. So some let their opportunities go by not going after what they want.
You also got standards, I’m sure of it, so that eliminates just being with anybody to not be single. But for most people they problem is their choices, especially pretty women. The types of man that most women say they want, and the type of men that they are attracted to, are two totally different people. And most women, pretty women in particular, are not prepared to date a man below her attractive standards, especially if she’s using herself as the standard. Most want a man that’s equally as good looking as her or above it. And women in general put a lot of emphasis on physical stuff, height, weight, etc, and tend to put those first and if you don’t jump those hurdles as a man, you out. A lot of women have so many filters for men that they turn a dating pool into a dating puddle, because they done filtered out so many men, that they have even filtered out good ones. This is usually what men mean but can’t explain when they say women are too picky, because they will be there with all the characteristics a woman wants, compatibility, gentleman, respectful, promising, but she won’t date him because he’s too short, don’t have a certain kind of job, he not as attractive as she wants him to be , etc.
As you get older and wiser characteristics and personality should become more attractive than everything else especially if you want to get married. I always laugh at women that say what they wont accept in a man and wont do for a man, and I usually think marry one either as one of my friends said. If you want a man to accept you as you are , you have to be willing to do the same. Women hate when men wont date them based on their shade of skin, hair type body type, etc. or based on their faults. Well you cant expect to be loved for who you are if you wont do the same, want people to love your insides if you wont do the same. Pick choose and refuse men, want them to be your perfect vision and you come to them under construction. Its doesn't work like that. And you can use all the code words and phrases you want, you may have a preference but requirements for dating some one exceed preferences. Preferences are like options on a car, good to have and the more you can get the better but they are not whats most important. And sometimes the right combo can make it all worth it.
Final Thought if you even remotely religious think of it like this, what if the man you want isn’t who GOD has intended for you, what are you gong to do just completely reject the blessing he has for you because its not the way you want him to bless you, its not your vision. My aunt used to say if you want to make GOD laugh, tell him your plans. Blessings are not orders at burger King, you don't always get it your way, don't always get what you want, but sometime what you need. I’m just saying. Thats my perspective.
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