The popular excuses and debates persist

There is a difference between who you want, who you need, and who you settle for.... You know the dude that you've placed deep in the friend zone, he's probably the one that has the characteristics you want and the one you need. You can't/ wont date him because he's your friend. But ask any soon to be newly wed, long time married person or widow what’s the secret, they all say they married their best friend. Yet you're passing on yours and making excuses for your self sabotage...  One of the popular questions amongst single people is what do women want? You want the answer, two things CONTROL and the ability to change her mind at will. Don’t get me wrong she wants the laundry list too; stability, respect, effort, affection, etc. But above all she wants to control who gives that to her and what his circumstances are. A lot of women are single because the attributes they like in a man and the men they are attracted to are two different types of men. (Same for you fellas) It’s a bunch of Chivalrous, compassionate yada yada men out her, but if he doesn't meet the profile that’s in your head, then the characteristics just aint gone be enough.

Oh and stop being self-fulfilling prophets, if you only look for the bad in men, it's all you'll find. You can find reasons not to date anyone. (I.e popular bs reasons; too nice, too good to be true, he's my friend, I like bad boys)  Even if he's in the church, has a career whatever. You’ll only find problems if that’s all your focused on. There are no perfect people, not even you. There are no perfect circumstances, not even yours, no matter how much wife material you're made from. So hear peoples story, give some chances and stop trying to box people in, think how much you hate to be profiled or boxed in because of your hair color, skin color, zodiac sign, age, weight, occupation, etc. Here is a suggestion stop making friends for a while, and focus on dating, if you want a relationship.
 

You can’t set rules that you can’t follow, have standards that you can’t meet, or judge situations you are currently in or just recently got out of. You can’t rally against double standards, them set them at you convenience.

And stop running from doing work in a relationship. There are once again no perfect people, but also there are no complete people, people are constantly changing. Nothing comes easy, that is lasting. You have to be willing to do the work. You can’t want someone to come to you complete, yet you want to be accepted for being under construction

My perspective, What’s Yours?

Slin_K

@slin_k_polymath