Thursday, December 8, 2016

Why Guys Still do Pickup Lines?


Few things in life get under single women’s skin like being harassed by men in public. The very mention of men’s unflattering attempts to get their attention brings out a deep-seated resentment that no man wants to be around for unless he’s prepared to answer for the crimes and motivations of the entire gender. As 31 yr. old human Resource Manager Sandy exclaimed, “Most times when I’m out in public, I’m only focused on what I have to do, and don’t feel like being bothered, so if a man is going to approach me or get my attention at least come correct. Don’t grab me, whistle or drop a tired pickup line”; to a chorus or “mmm hmms” and head nods. She then asks the $10,000 double jeopardy question which lead to a round of applauds “why do men, even grown adult men that should know better still do cat calls, pickup lines and feel the need to touch?”

So I asked a few older more refined men about what they used to do and a few younger men about how and what they do, to find out what’s the thought process behind each action. In no way shape or form is this an excuse or explanation as acceptable behavior; it’s just a breakdown of what’s being thought when it’s done.

  Despite women’s disdain for these mating practices, they have persisted throughout generations because; they work.  Despite all the complaints and debates, if at the end of the interaction he walks away with your number, it’s mission accomplished. Men rarely continue to do what fails them in talking to women; they will adjust it until it successfully works at a ratio they are comfortable with.

Let’s go through the process. The cat call is a rudimentary attempt to not only get your attention but also to get you to stop in your tracks so he has time to try and talk to you. It’s a technique used for when distance or a barrier is between the two of you, it’s also a juvenile technique used just to show off in front of other males. It’s boldness, shock value used to get your attention. It’s up to you rather you give it, or check it if it's disrespectful.

The impromptu nicknames or descriptions –The primary job is to let you know exactly whom we’re talking about usually by describing a part of your body or what you’re wearing. It also allows him to sneak in what in his mind is a compliment.

Unsolicited compliments are attempts to flatter or make you smile. If the compliment results in thank you, that’s a big enough window to begin a conversation.  

Pickup lines work slightly different, catcalls are done from a distance, pickup lines are up close and personal. Hence the reason when they go wrong, drinks have ended up in faces. Pickup lines are designed to make you talk back to him. Regardless of the type of line (sexual, funny, corny, smooth, cliché, rude, etc.), the goal is to get you to talk back. So even if he knows it’s rude or inappropriate, the over confident man believes he can smooth out the situation with an apology and a decent conversation, so he’s playing a high risk, high reward game just to start a conversation with you.  When it comes to a pickup line it’s not what you say, its how you say it; a well placed double entendre is gold if it gets a laugh, giggle, smile or peaks your interest. Anything that makes a woman genuinely laugh or peaks her interest is a good thing for men.

The grab of the hand or elbow is to get your attention, slow you down or restrain you to talk to you. Usually no disrespect is intended, it’s just an act of desperation, it's highly risky and a violation of personal space.

 The goal of it all is to get the woman to talk. If you’re offended, correct the behavior, or ignore him if there is distance between you. If you’re offended but you accept or entertain the foolishness, it changes nothing, instead it rewards the behavior. These behaviors persist because for generations of men they’ve worked more often than they’ve failed, it seems that catcalls and pickup lines only offend women, when it’s from a man whose attention they don’t want. So ladies you’re going to have to make a tough decision, if you want these to go away, the masses are going to have to shut down even the ones you like until men come up with an alternative or more traditional form you can agree on.


[pickupline]. Retrieved October 1, 2016 from http://www.wooinfo.com/the-10-pickup-lines-that-work-like-magic/



Written By: Johnny Brownlee II  
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath






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