Using social networking we did two quick polls, I asked the questions 1.) In a relationship which form of cheating is worst, physical ( sexual), emotional, psychological, mentally? 2. In relationship should you have to give up your friends of the opposite sex? the second question was asked to just to see if people thought the opposite sex was the problem and if eradicating them would solve the problem.
What I found out was in a survey of men and women ages 18-37, physical cheating weighed in number one as the worst. Men and people under 25 heavily weighed with this being the worst form of cheating behind them
Emotional was a close second, overwhelmingly damn near exclusively chosen by women of all ages.
Mentally was next in a distant third and even more distant 4th was psychological.
Now not scientific or official or dealing with thousands of people. Its shows us some immediate things. One lady commented that physical was worse because you actively choose to participate and that you cant help who you significant other may be attracted to and the feelings that develop.
I personally think that men don’t even really think about cheating in any other fashion than she had sex with another man, I think they'll let the other 3 slide as long as she don’t step out. Not realizing that emotional usually leads to the physical. Mental kicks it off, she’s thought about it fantasized, wondered in her head. Women in general usually like the men that they cheat with. All of the above play a role in why and how women cheat.
Another woman tied it all together and commented that for women definitely physical. Once we are physical with someone we are attached to them mind body and soul so when that person is physical with someone else it effects us emotionally, psychologically, and mentally.
Men usually cheat for physical reasons. Its usually, usually is just sex for a man, and men will cheat for stupid less personal reasons. The requirements are lower. Men usually cheat based on a combination of bad decisions, letting a situation go to far and getting themselves caught up due to underestimating the woman giving them attention, ego/insecurities wanting to see if they still got it and what they can still pull, or sexual reasons, trying to get something they don’t get at home or just trying to get variety.
Now I'm not saying any of this is right, not making excuses or condoning it, we’re just discussing some of the reasons why people generally step outside of the rules and confinements of their relationships.
So what can you do to keep from cheating or having your mate cheat on you, its cliche as hell but communication, communication, communication. You have to have a open line of communication where you can say what you like, want, need, desire and fantasize about with out you or your partner acting crazy or feeling threatened, because when people cant fully express themselves is when secrets build up and at the end someones saying why you didn’t just tell me.
So physically you’ve got to be able to say what your limits and comforts are based on the relationship you have and want, are you in a open relationship are they allowed to be sexual with other people, as long as it doesn’t get emotional, or are they not even allowed to hug or dance with other people. Or does it lie some where in the middle of those extremes, if in the middle where? Whats too far, whats getting to close to the line, where is point of no return? Assume nothing
Emotionally how comfortable are you with them sharing and talking to people on emotional level. Lets be honest how emotional are you comfortable with your mate being with someone of the opposite sex? Are you comfortable with them having friends, what about hanging out with those friends? What if they’re best friends? can they make new friends ? What topics are off limits, what things shouldn’t be shared? Now be honest but be careful that you aren’t trying to be overly controlling and untrusting, because no matter how much we don’t like it you got to have trust for your partner even around the opposite sex ,and if you cat trust them a lot, you shouldn’t be with them
Psychologically, don't be overly suspicious or do things to make your partner think you may or can be cheating, be respectful of their thoughts and feelings. Even if you’re flirtatious, joking, or very friendly open and outgoing, there has to be a certain level of toning down or a line you don’t cross while in a relationship. Unless you and your partner just have that understanding
Mentally like i said the hardest to control, do you really want to try and control what people think, that's overly controlling. You don’t want to know what goes on in most peoples minds. You cant be threatened by every fantasy, wish, desire, and turn on. Only if they start acting out and on those is it problem.
No matter what type of relationship you in its about communication, compromises and negotiations and meeting at acceptable mediums. You and your mate should have an open line to really, really , actually discuss anything. Thoughts should not be illegal, actions should, choices should, decisions. In your relationships each should know what the rules are, what the comfort zones are, because going past those are cheating. Cheating is breaking the rules of the relationship, and people often don’t have the appropriate conversations, and then when its too late they assume you knew or should have known, bum that discuss everything before hand. Pound of prevention.... you know the saying. If you looking to be secure and happy in your relationship you need to talk and be able to talk about things like this before they happen and just to know how your partner feels ad thinks about them to make sure you . We often treat cheating as a taboo subject in our relationship, but I always like to tell people I'm gone tolerate and not so they know ahead of time. Maybe we can work it out so that you don't feel you need to get rid of all your male friends or whatever, just make some changes on how you all hang out, for instance. Any way, My opinion, my experience, my perspective, whats your ?
What I found out was in a survey of men and women ages 18-37, physical cheating weighed in number one as the worst. Men and people under 25 heavily weighed with this being the worst form of cheating behind them
Emotional was a close second, overwhelmingly damn near exclusively chosen by women of all ages.
Mentally was next in a distant third and even more distant 4th was psychological.
Now not scientific or official or dealing with thousands of people. Its shows us some immediate things. One lady commented that physical was worse because you actively choose to participate and that you cant help who you significant other may be attracted to and the feelings that develop.
I personally think that men don’t even really think about cheating in any other fashion than she had sex with another man, I think they'll let the other 3 slide as long as she don’t step out. Not realizing that emotional usually leads to the physical. Mental kicks it off, she’s thought about it fantasized, wondered in her head. Women in general usually like the men that they cheat with. All of the above play a role in why and how women cheat.
Another woman tied it all together and commented that for women definitely physical. Once we are physical with someone we are attached to them mind body and soul so when that person is physical with someone else it effects us emotionally, psychologically, and mentally.
Men usually cheat for physical reasons. Its usually, usually is just sex for a man, and men will cheat for stupid less personal reasons. The requirements are lower. Men usually cheat based on a combination of bad decisions, letting a situation go to far and getting themselves caught up due to underestimating the woman giving them attention, ego/insecurities wanting to see if they still got it and what they can still pull, or sexual reasons, trying to get something they don’t get at home or just trying to get variety.
Now I'm not saying any of this is right, not making excuses or condoning it, we’re just discussing some of the reasons why people generally step outside of the rules and confinements of their relationships.
So what can you do to keep from cheating or having your mate cheat on you, its cliche as hell but communication, communication, communication. You have to have a open line of communication where you can say what you like, want, need, desire and fantasize about with out you or your partner acting crazy or feeling threatened, because when people cant fully express themselves is when secrets build up and at the end someones saying why you didn’t just tell me.
So physically you’ve got to be able to say what your limits and comforts are based on the relationship you have and want, are you in a open relationship are they allowed to be sexual with other people, as long as it doesn’t get emotional, or are they not even allowed to hug or dance with other people. Or does it lie some where in the middle of those extremes, if in the middle where? Whats too far, whats getting to close to the line, where is point of no return? Assume nothing
Emotionally how comfortable are you with them sharing and talking to people on emotional level. Lets be honest how emotional are you comfortable with your mate being with someone of the opposite sex? Are you comfortable with them having friends, what about hanging out with those friends? What if they’re best friends? can they make new friends ? What topics are off limits, what things shouldn’t be shared? Now be honest but be careful that you aren’t trying to be overly controlling and untrusting, because no matter how much we don’t like it you got to have trust for your partner even around the opposite sex ,and if you cat trust them a lot, you shouldn’t be with them
Psychologically, don't be overly suspicious or do things to make your partner think you may or can be cheating, be respectful of their thoughts and feelings. Even if you’re flirtatious, joking, or very friendly open and outgoing, there has to be a certain level of toning down or a line you don’t cross while in a relationship. Unless you and your partner just have that understanding
Mentally like i said the hardest to control, do you really want to try and control what people think, that's overly controlling. You don’t want to know what goes on in most peoples minds. You cant be threatened by every fantasy, wish, desire, and turn on. Only if they start acting out and on those is it problem.
No matter what type of relationship you in its about communication, compromises and negotiations and meeting at acceptable mediums. You and your mate should have an open line to really, really , actually discuss anything. Thoughts should not be illegal, actions should, choices should, decisions. In your relationships each should know what the rules are, what the comfort zones are, because going past those are cheating. Cheating is breaking the rules of the relationship, and people often don’t have the appropriate conversations, and then when its too late they assume you knew or should have known, bum that discuss everything before hand. Pound of prevention.... you know the saying. If you looking to be secure and happy in your relationship you need to talk and be able to talk about things like this before they happen and just to know how your partner feels ad thinks about them to make sure you . We often treat cheating as a taboo subject in our relationship, but I always like to tell people I'm gone tolerate and not so they know ahead of time. Maybe we can work it out so that you don't feel you need to get rid of all your male friends or whatever, just make some changes on how you all hang out, for instance. Any way, My opinion, my experience, my perspective, whats your ?
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