[sexfrustration]. Retrieved September 5, 2018, fromhttps://www.yourtango.com/2013200937/bad-sex-how-sexual-frustration-bad-your-health
Are you willing to teach him?
There’s a popular saying about relationships that you teach people how to treat you based on what you accept. But when it comes to sexual gratification many women tend to voice their complaints to everyone but the man that they are sleeping with and seem to be unwilling to teach him how to please them. It’s almost as if women just expect men to inherently know what works for them. As I’ve said before ladies, your silence hurts us, but it also does a huge disservice to you. In this glorious time of empowerment, liberation, and independence; when you’re speaking up about all that you’ve been deprived of, why should your sexual gratification be any less of an issue? Talking is not all that’s required, you may have to show him how. For all of the things that men accuse or think you want to control, you don’t want to control your sexual delight?
It may not be comfortable for you to speak up and it may be inconvenient and unexpected for you to have to teach him, but if you don’t and are unwilling to; you are failing to realize that making sure you get what you need to be satisfied is partly your responsibility and putting your satisfaction in someone else’s hands, and that’s too much power to give away.
Most women say that they don’t say anything because they don’t want to hurt a mans feelings or damage his ego; DAMN that, ain’t nobody got time for that, especially if it means that you should just lay there fake it, be unsatisfied and bored. So be vocal, tell how, take charge, change to the position that benefits you, and speak up in and outside of the bedroom. Drop clues, instructions, show him the difference. As with everything how you give the criticism matter, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it; so tell him “ I really like it when you do this….” , “ When you do that, it’s good; but if you do it like this…” or no man turns down the option to listen when you start a conversation “ you know what really turns me on ?”
What you need to understand is he’s not a mind reader and there’s no way for him just know or be good at sex. When it comes to sex, honestly most men are sort of routine, we tend to do what we think/know works, but we think in general not necessarily in specifics. So if you don’t tell us what’s working and what’s not, we assume all is well, we don’t deviate from the program and you can look forward to the same piss poor performance again. But if you tell us or better yet show us what to do, you have a great opportunity to reset and reprogram our routine and diversify the bedroom options. When you teach him what works for you, you can tailor and personalize your experience rather than just get a general experience. Women and what it takes to get them off are not monolithic and neither are men and their abilities; good is relative to what you’ve had before or what wasn’t complained about. Most men that are good at sex, are taught by women, so we learn to respond to needs and adjust to what’s working as opposed to what we think is or should be working. There is no manual, most men learn from experience, experimentation, direction, and porn (which can be misleading as hell).
[OMGYes]. Retrieved September 4, 2018 from https://madamenoire.com/606845/teach-men-how-to-make-you-orgasm/
Some women say that when they are not satisfied they either give him a few chances to get it right or just move on to the next rather than confront the problem. But how often do you meet a man worthy of your time that you want to sleep with? If he’s not satisfying you and you are unwilling to teach him how to you’re making an unnecessary sacrifice by throwing the whole man away. By not being willing to speak up and teach him; you’re essentially making some very big assumptions about the man you are dealing with. You’re assuming he won’t respond positively, that he only cares about his own satisfaction, and that he doesn’t care about his reputation. A few things ladies, mature men that aren’t selfish want to give as good as they get, are willing to learn something new, and want their sexual reputation to be impeccable for delivering pleasure. Yes we have an ego and our ability give pleasure is attached to it, so if you tell us it's not working, it’ll be bruised. But if you show and then we are able to bring you satisfaction, we feel redeemed and that’s a confidence boost. We never want to be the dude that you talk negatively to your girlfriends about.
So speak up and be willing to teach. Men are always willing to teach and be overly vocal about what they like and how they like it, so your satisfaction should not be second class and not only be a demand but a requirement. I’m not saying treat your sex like it’s a reward/ trophy (although there are times when it can be), but If he’s not willing to try to give you the gift of satisfaction then he doesn’t deserve it either. It’s supposed to be a mutual exchange. Being willing to teach us how to please you benefits YOU; we don’t get better without inspiration, coaching, criticism or challenges (unchecked egos). Men that aren’t selfish and that care about you orgasm and climax are always willing to explore something new, do something freakier to put you over the top. Remember a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, or whatever other clichés you’d like to choose; you get the point. Don’t let your own ego and assumptions keep you from getting the sexual satisfaction that you want and deserve; if you have to teach him how to do it, it’s way better than not getting it at all.
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