[Needs vs Wants]. Retrieved September 26, 2017 from http://www.the-writers-guru.com/needs-vs-wants-for-copywriters/april-01st-2014
Male Perspective: What do you NEED from your relationship?
We often talk about, and fantasize about what our ideal relationships are, we talk about what we want, but how many of us ever take time to figure out what we absolutely need in our relationship or from a partner? What things are absolutely essential and without them, they are relationship non-starters? There are plenty of things we want and those things are negotiable, but the things we need are mandatory.
For me personally, I needHonesty- I’ve had my fill of information being left out, hidden, and a woman that lied so much I don’t truly know her real name.
Directness– I do not have time for guessing games or to assume, Say what you mean, mean what you say, because I will not just know, all women are not the same and every scenario is not the same. Give it to me straight, spell it out for me.
Understanding– I’m busy, I’m not perfect, I’m a work in progress, and sometimes I’m hard to deal with. I’m less than ideal sometimes. I got a few flaws and I have growing to do. I’m positive you are too so deal with it or break out.
Commitment – I don’t need anyone that’s always looking for the exits or an excuse to exit. My life is not and will not be a revolving door and you will not have one foot in and one foot out; you ‘re either all the way in or all the way out.
Reciprocity - I absolutely refuse to ever be in a relationship where I give more than I receive and where I don’t get as good as I give. We will both sacrifice, will cater to and spoil each other. I will not be in a relationship without equality ever again. We are going to be equal partners and have an equal stake in this relationship, period.
Without all of those 5 things, it’s a non-starter for me.
[ Relationship needs and wants]. Retrieved September 27, 2018 from http://the-love-compass.com/2014/06/21/difference-relationship-need-want/
I asked a few gentlemen what things were absolutely necessary for their next relationships. Here were the most popular answers, and there will definitely be some surprises.
Patience – The absolute most popular answer. This one should be self-explanatory but apparently, it’s not. Apparently, men are tired of women that want it all at once or upfront, even when they themselves are still under construction. Patience is a two-way street, and men are openly expressing that they need it in relationships. We are dealing with a generation that wants everything quick and now, without the process. If you feel like you’ve already been patient, then maybe it’s what you’re patient about that needs to be examined.
Adventure– The same way that women despise being bored, men hate predictability and routine. There’s a saying in jail that you can do the time, it’s the routine that kills you. Men are looking for someone to explore and discover with, so be more uninhibited, more open-minded, and a little less cautious sometimes. We need laughter, fun, and stimulation.
Best Friend– Men don’t just want a lover they want a friend. Someone that we can hang out with, but also someone that we know has our back and best interest at heart and in mind, someone we can trust. This is what men mean when they talk about loyalty. But men also want someone that they enjoy talking to and that person enjoys talking to us, contrary to popular belief we don’t just want someone to have sex with.
Consistency– We often hear women talk about men not being consistent but there has been a growing chorus of men speaking out about women’s inconsistencies in relationships. So, ladies, this might have to be a practice what you preach area or a fairly asses the situation area. Consistency is not something you practice in just one area of your life, it’s practiced across the board. Quite frankly a lot of men are confused by the women they come into contact; we don’t know what women want, what they stand for or what you mean anymore because the bar keeps moving.
Vulnerability– Emotionally unavailable or defensive women are extremely hard to deal with. It is extremely hard to break through a wall only to be met with another wall because they have trust issues. At some point you have to trust, take your armor off and your defenses down; and just be human instead of a war machine on high alert.
Thick Skin– Men like women that are tough, but not impenetrable. What men are saying here is that they want someone they can have open honest communication with, but not someone that everything hurts your feelings or is taken to the heart. We don’t want to have to proceed with extreme caution or walk on eggshells. On occasion, you want to joke or be sarcastic, and you need someone that can throw it right back. I know you’re thinking you just asked us to drop our defenses, but just like you ask from us it’s about balance. Not too strong and not too weak.
Liberated - To put it honestly, don’t be a prude. You don’t have to be a full-fledged porn star, but we’d like to have fun, interesting sex lives. Take being adventurous and apply it to the bedroom. Be uninhibited, creative and willing to explore. One of mens worse fears is that they will settle down and have to resign themselves to infrequent, sporadic and routine sex; essentially not having a sex life at all.
Complementary – We want women that make us whole, that encourage and inspire us and hold us accountable; but we don’t want to be with someone that thinks they’re our mother, a drill sergeant, a queen that’s a dictator or a person that believes they are more important than us. We can both shine without dimming the others light.
Ladies this is just a sampling of things men said, it was like pulling teeth to get men to open up and say these things because men don’t usually open up and have these kinds of open honest conversations with each other. But hopefully it helps us understand each other just a little more, and by men saying it out loud, it helps us adjust our actions as we stroll through the flowers of life looking for a mate.
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