Space Try Some

Everybody is always trying to find and define successful relationships, hell we all want one. Of all the advice and elements that are gone over that are necessary ingredients in a successful relationship, one very important element is often overlooked and not mentioned, Space.  It’s so simple its brilliant, but its crucial and critical, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in or how long you’ve been at it.

You need space, time away from each other. The saying absence makes the heart grow funder is very true. Space not only gives you time to miss your mate, but it gives you time to do other stuff, like, have you time and clear your head. No matter what you say we’re all a little bit different around our mate as we are when we’re alone or with other people.

 Often time’s people pursue relationships with others, and give up the relationship with themselves. We too often give up our whole lives to be with someone else. We neglect friends, give up hobbies, stop pursuing goals, we make our relationships all about them, all the time, and its part of the reason why many people that want success believe that relationships are distracting. 

We too often in relationships build our life around our mates, and invest everything into them and the relationship, rather than include them in our life. We spend all our time on the phone with them, hang with them and exclude others. How many people do you know, you used to be close with, then they got someone in their lives and now you don’t know them anymore? Or, how many people do you know that after a break up, now they want to hang, or after a break up they don’t know how to readjust and get back into normal life? For many people in relationships, life becomes school, work and their mate.

However you can have it all, it just requires balance. 

The reason why we do this is because no one teaches us balance, no one teaches us how to date, or the importance of the relationship with ourselves. When we make some one else our life, we tread dangerous territory, because we get too close, too fast, and invest of ourselves too much and too hard.  And when investing as such in the express lane, to many times we have nothing or not enough to show for it, because we stop growing and developing and fostering our other relationships (family, friends, work, church, etc.) that made life so worth it while we were single.

So in your relationships include Space, its critical. It’s important to do things together, but do things apart also, some type of activity. That way, you can do things you like to do, with out compromise and you can include your friends. Use balance. Do things together, do things in groups, do things with your friends, and on occasion, rare occasions you can involve your mate in your alone activity, as they may want to sacrifice and do something with you just because you like it and vice versa.   So fellas go golf, play ball with the fellas, go to a sports event. Ladies do your book club, dinner, shopping with the girls. What ever it is you do, do your reading, your gardening, fixing on your car.  Space will keep peace and individuality in your relationship. How man people want someone up under them, with no life of their own all the time? Space Try some.

My opinion, my experience, my perspective. What’s yours?

Slin_K

@slin_k_polymath on twitter